A New List on a Hot Summer Day.

The other day, I sat in my backyard watching water slap up against the seawall. Add it to the list of days in the 90s here in New York. Today, the sun feels good, like my bones are getting warmed up. As I lay in the sun and listen to Jack Johnson lull me off to a late afternoon nap, I start to toss around the things I want from life. They rattle around in my head in no particular order. Usually when thoughts rattle around in my head, it means it's time for them to come out and be written down. So here is that list:

1. I want to keep my faith in people and small moments.
2. I want to always believe in the beauty of this earth and possibilities. 
3. I want to pass whatever test is next.
4. I want to hit the game winning shot at the buzzer (metaphorically or literally).
5. I want to be surprised.
6. I want always to feel comforted by the warmth of the sun and the breeze in my face.
6. I want my hard work to pay off greater than my expectations. 
7. I want to believe with all my heart I was put on this earth for a reason and I found that reason. 
8. I want to feel my spirit rise in the sky for one glorious moment and know this is exactly where I was meant to be. 
9. I don’t ever want to hit the snooze button again. I know, I digress, but I think the snooze button is the worst invention ever.  It allows, no wait, it condones people eeking their lives away nine minutes at a time.  Why not ten minutes?  Who decided nine minutes was the acceptable timeframe to sleep in?  Why do we allow someone else to decide what is acceptable for us?  What if I want my snooze to be exactly forty-three seconds. 
10. I want to live acceptably for me and no one else, even if you don't agree.  
11. I want to feel calm and at ease with my decisions. 
12. I want to throw away my television and take a walk instead. 
13. I want to pray to God in my own quiet way, and not be dictated how to worship by men who are as far away from God as I’ve ever seen. 
14. I want to rant sometimes like the homeless person on the corner about all the wrongs in my mind, and I want to rant in my own language, even if you can’t understand it. 
15. I want to feel passion that lasts, to feel undressed by someone’s eyes, feel the tingle in my toes from a kiss, the whisper on my lashes, the flipping in my stomach, thinking- wow, this is gonna be good.  It’s gonna be sweaty and it’s gonna be good. 
16. I want to write it all down - leave no word unwritten, no sentiment untouched.
17. I want to tell stories - good ones- and be paid well for it.
18. I want to sit at my desk and write with the ease of flipping the channels on the television. No, wait, I take that back. I never want writing to get easy because I never want to take it for granted. Okay. That one has been amended.
19.I want to go to sleep each night with the confidence that I wasted no time during my time awake. Not one second lost. 
20. I want to spend my day understanding that I have done nothing less than my purpose for that day. 
21.I want to be in awe of the unknown, because within the unknown is the place I fall asleep dreaming about.
22. I want to have enough money that I can comfortably give plenty away to others.
23. I want to make someone laugh.
24. I want to grill a steak, roast some potatoes and sit crosslegged on the beach eating dinner and watching the sun set.
25. I want all the people whom I love to know that I love them.
26. I want to send my parents on a trip to Italy.
27. I want to...fall...asleep....


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